Crank

Movie Review - 9/3/06

L.A. hitman, Chev Chelios has apparently had it with the business. He plans on getting out and spending more time with his girl (Amy Smart). Too bad for him though when a hit goes wrong and wakes up the next day poisoned with a pretty nasty Chinese drug called a “Beijing cocktail.”  It slows down the heart by blocking off all adrenaline.  As you would expect, if he doesn’t keep his adrenaline pumping, he will die.

After learning this and that he only has about an hour left to live, he only wants one thing out of life: to take the entire gang down that did this and hopefully fine an antidote. After getting some help from his doctor buddy, he does everything possible to keep his adrenaline running, by racing cars through a mall, drinking Red Bull, kicking black ass, and having sex with his girl in a downtown Chinatown. He knows he is going to die eventually, but this adrenaline junkie wants to go out with guns a blazing!

Ever since The Transporter burst onto the big screen back in 2002, I was immediately hooked on Jason Statham. His movies, though shallow in plot, were over the top in action and adventure.  His martial arts moves reminded me of Jet Li for his style. So when I heard he was in Crank, I had to go see it. Unfortunately, it may be the worst of all of his movies.

Crank is another action-adventure flick that we have come to expect of Statham. It’s his calling card basically. In the past, where the movies would utilize his martial arts skills, this movie focuses more on straight up action and gunplay, car chases, you know, the usual. But the story is pretty dumb and offers no value whatsoever to the viewer.

The movie is about adrenaline, and it doesn’t let up, and breaks out a few comedic moments here as well, including a sex romp in downtown Chinatown. Anything that provides adrenaline is basically included in the movie. It’s the story that suffers though and it requires that the viewer has a huge suspension of disbelief.

If there is anyone that can try and hold this movie is Jason Statham. He is the king of over the top, implausible, and kick ass action movies. He is becoming a terrific actor and these movies fit him perfectly. I was very disappointed that they took away his hands and feet in this movie because he has hardly any hand to hand combat scenes. That is what really got me going in the past. At least he looks somewhat believable pulling off all of this over the top stunts. Hey, he only has an hour to live remember?

The only other actor in this movie who you really care about is Statham’s on screen girlfriend Amy Smart. She played a really good ditzy blonde. Somehow she is a perfect fit for him. The rest of the cast contains no one we would ever care about. They are just obstacles that will soon be killed by Statham.

The whole premise if very far fetched, but it entertains for the most part, but when the movie is over, you wonder why you wasted the $7.50 per ticket on it. The camera movement was very jerky and it basically moved as fast as the story did, if you can call it a story.

All in all, Crank should be a rental movie and at 83 minutes, you never get your moneys worth. Jason Statham is the only good thing in this movie and even at that, this movie is his worst.  I guess when a movie is based around a guy that must keep his adrenaline going or he will die is really a bad idea. I wish I would have known that before dropping the cash.

Grade

What do you think?